When we play a character we know we are the one who has to connect with them in order to tell their part in this story, However, sometimes we struggle to find a connection or to relate to them. That’s why we need to find specific techniques to form a personal connection with your character.

While listing similarities and writing character backstories might help us understand our character, it doesn’t always help us relate to them. We need to find information that helps us connect with them on a deeper level than the intellectual.

So, here are some great ways that you can make a personal connection with your character.

Why Do You Want To Be An Actor?

Wow, okay, I know – big question. And you only wanted to figure out how to get a little closer to the character you’re playing!

Honestly, though, this is the place to start if you really want to make genuine connections with your characters and play them with conviction.

It certainly is a big question. We all have answers that we feel should be the right answer. We all have answers we’d rather not admit to (proving those high school bullies wrong, anyone?). Many times we simply may not know. We may just feel an instinct, an urge, to do it, as though we’re being pulled in this direction, and we don’t quite know why.

First of all, trust that urge. Sometimes our subconscious understands what we need to do better than we do.

Secondly, while there may not be one simple answer to why we want to be actors, there is a good way to get to the root of the desire. That is called answering the 5 whys.

The 5 Whys

This is where you answer the question why five times, expanding each time on your last answer. This should give you the answer that is underneath all the other reasons you give as an answer to the first question.

Here is an example of how this might look with the question “Why do I want to be an actor?”

1. Why do I want to be an actor?

To bring people joy and entertainment

2. Why do I want to bring people joy and entertainment?

There are lot of people going through hardship and I want to give them comfort.

3. Why do I want to give comfort to those going through hardship?

I know what it’s like to go through hardship and I want to help others who felt like I did

4. Why do I want to help others who have felt like I have?

I remember how much my favourite TV shows helped me when I felt bad and I want to pay that forward

5. Why do I want to pay forward the comfort I received from my favourite TV shows?

I feel it is my responsibility to use the experiences I’ve had to reach out to others going through the same thing

That fifth is your deep truth of why you want to be an actor – in this case, the person wants to use their experiences to reach out to others going through the same thing.

Your turn!

Now it’s your turn. Try doing the five whys, with the starting question “Why do I want to be an actor?” Try to be honest with yourself.

Your answer may be completely different from the example I shared. That’s okay, everyone’s answer will be different and equally valid. It just has to be true.

Feel free to repeat the exercise until you find a 5th why that resonates with you. However, you might be surprised by how your first attempt is the one that ends up resonating with you most.

Now you know your deep reason for why you want to be an actor, you can endeavor to achieve this goal with every part you play. Here’s how you do it.

Why Do You Want To Play This Part?

My first step for approaching a new part is asking myself why I want to play it. When forming a personal connection with your character, you want to link this to your reason for being an actor.

So, if I link this to the example above, my reason for being an actor is “To use my experience to reach out to others going through the same.”

In fact, the question here may be better phrased as “How does playing this part help me to achieve my goal as an actor?”

The sweet secret here is that every role can help you achieve that goal, no matter what it is. You just need to find your why.

You can also think about why you want to do this play as a whole in order to achieve your goal. Why this part in this play?

It is often simpler and more obvious than you would think. Just ask yourself how this role relates to your goal and why that makes you want to play it. It’s that simple.

Already, you will have formed a strong personal connection with your character.

What Do You Want To Defend?

The next part of this process of forming personal connection with your character is figuring out what you want to defend in this character. This can also be linked to why you want to be an actor and why you want to play this role.

Think about what this character might be judged for by other characters in the play, audience members, or how they might be judged in the real world.

How can you fight this character’s corner?

And don’t give some answer that sounds good. Don’t give the answer you think is noble, or right, or impressive. This isn’t a test or an exam – this is to help you get in touch with the character.

As soon as you’ve found something that you truly want to defend about this character from a place that makes you feel impassioned, then you have made true connection with the character. Now, you are on their side.

What Do The Lines Mean To You?

Now it’s time to get into the nitty gritty of the scenes. It’s time to think about what the lines mean to you.

Or, rather, what do you mean when you say the lines.

Sometimes it can be tricky to find our connection with the character’s dialogue. We may understand why they say what they say, but we think to ourselves “I would never say that”. So, we need to find a way to find meaning in the lines.

Slow It Down

The first way to do this is to speak the lines slowly. Take them one word at a time, and take a moment to notice any imagery that comes into your head.

If you say the word “love”, what imagery comes into your head? It could be a person, a place, “a colour, an object.

This could work for any your character says. “Sea”, “Mum”, “School”, “Soft”. Each word will bring a different image to your mind.

Go through your lines as see what images come out as you say each word slowly, one by one. These will allow you to make personal and meaningful connections to each concept that you speak about.

Personal Meaning

This exercise in building personal connection with your character is linked to subtext – the meaning underneath what the character actually says. However, rather than figuring out what the character really means, you are going to think about what you really mean.

You are the character now. You are in this situation. What do you really want to say?

Go through each line and after each line ask yourself “What do I mean?”. Seriously, say it aloud. Then, without giving yourself too much time to think and speak aloud your version of this line. What are you really saying when you speak this line? Say it aloud. Then speak your original line out loud once more and try to imbue it with your personal meaning.

Here is an example of how this might go:

1. Read the line aloud – e.g., “I’m glad you’re here with me.”
2. Ask yourself aloud – “What do I mean?”
3. Without overthinking, answer – e.g. “I can’t go back to being alone again.”
4. Read the line again with your true meaning behind it – “I’m glad you’re here with me.”

Do this for every line in the scene.

This exercise will help you to make personal connections with every single one of your lines, and allow you to express what you really want to say to the lines you speak as the character.

What Would Make You Do This?

When we play a character, we have to be abe to understand and relate to them. However, as stated before, doing this intellectually is not enough. We really have to feel it.

So, while making a list of similarities and differences can be helpful, it may not necessarily help you form a genuine personal connection to your character.

A great way to help you relate and connect to your character’s circumstances is to ask yourself “What would make me do this?”

This is a great exercise to work through when you’re struggling to relate to the character’s actions of motivations.

This is also a great exercise to help you build your character’s motivations, objective and backstory.

Read more about building up your character backstory here.

All you need to do here is a to take a look at the actions your character takes over the course of the script. This may be things they do or say. Then, ask yourself “What would make me do this?”

Some can be quite straightforward and a result of the events of the scene. The answers may also be easier to find if you relate to their behaviour too. For instance, if they crack open a beer and you ask “what would make me do this?”, the answer might be to relieve some stress after a long day. That might even be something you did last week! You know what that’s like and you can relate

Looking To The Past

However, there might be bigger or more extreme actions they take in the script. They may be harder for you to relate to. You may have never taken those actions. You may not even be able to imagine yourself taking those actions. Or you may fundamentally disagree with those actions.

This is where the question of “what would make me do this?” is crucial. For this big leaps, it might not be such a simple answer. This is where you may have to look at the events of your past and the character’s past. If they are taking actions you can’t ever imagine taking, chances are they have had a fundamentally different life to you so far.

As documented by the medical profession, adverse childhood experiences can have a big impact on us in later life.

So, ask yourself, what event, serious of events, or situations would I have had to be in to make me do this?

Let’s say, for example, your character commits an act of terrible violence. You, on the other hand, are a pascifist. Chances are, someone saying something rude to you would not make you do this.

So, what could have lead you down that different path instead? Maybe you’d have to be around violence growing up. Maybe you’d have to be violent to survive a certain situation. Or maybe you’d have to have had violent friends growing up.

Again, don’t give the answer you think you’re expected to give. The answer isn’t “what could make someone do this?” but “what could make you do this?”

By answering this question you will be able to build empathy, understanding and a deeper personal connection with your character.

What Is Your Point Of View?

This exercise is a fairly similar to the exercise for finding meaning in your lines, as we are putting ourselves in the shoes of the character again.

This is simply to help you see the scenes in the play as if you were living them.

What we want to do here is to write a description of each scene, one by one. However, instead of simply describing the events of the scene, we want to write it from our character’s point of view. Not only that, we want to do it while tapping into what we would think if we were the character going through this experience. How would you see this if it was you?

For example:

So the events of a scene may be:

• I’m watching TV.
• My mum walks in.
• She asks me what I’m doing.
• She says dinner will be on the table soon.
• She lingers in the doorway for a bit, looking at me.
• She leaves and closes the door behind her.

My summary of that scene may be:

“I’m trying to chill after a day of school because I’m exhausted. Mum comes in and I already know she’s going to have a go at me. She starts nagging me about what I’m doing and wasting my time and I need to be ready for dinner. I just want her to leave me alone. She waits for me to get annoyed but I won’t give her the satisfaction. She finally leaves me in peace.”

Someone else’s summary of the same scene may be entirely different! It all depends on how you might see the situation if you were living it.

Once you’ve done this for each scene, you can even sum up the entire storyline of the script as a whole. Simply write a synopsis detailing the events from the play, but entirely from your character’s unique perspective. This will allow you to see their experience within the story.

Allow yourself to be creative too! It’s your interpretation that matters.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you connect to your character in acting?

To connect to your character in acting you have to understand their point of view and why they do what they do. You also have to reflect on yourself and how you relate to them. The combination of these two things means that you will be able to engage more fully with your character and their behaviour.

Do actors get attached to their characters?

Yes! Actor’s spend a lot of time with their characters. They spend time getting to know them, maybe better than they know anyone in their real life. They even experience the events of their life, acting out arguments and relationships and losses. Actor’s also give parts of themselves to their characters, meaning that they always feel like their character is a part of them.

How do you separate yourself from your character acting?

Remember to note the differences between you and your character when you start work. Remind yourself of these differences. Live your own life for a bit. If you like to cycle and they don’t, go for a cycle remind. Remind yourself why you like it.

It can also be helpful to physically shake off the character. Literally shake your whole body and all your limbs. Imagine them leaving you physically.

Do actors fall in love when acting?

They can do! Acting a role can be a very personal and vulnerable experience, meaning you are likely to make deep connections with those you work with. Plus, actors often spend long hours on set meaning they get to spend a lot of time together to build a bond.

Why do I get emotionally attached to actors?

Because they are expressing something we rarely see in real life – truth and vulnerability. It may be fiction, but just think – how often do we see someone cry in real life? How often do we see them when they’re running late? How often do we see people in the most private times in their life? Very rarely – except when actors let us see them play out on stage or screen.

We recognise ourself and the truth of the human experience in these moments, and that makes us feel attached to the people who dare to open their souls and let us see, when most people spend all their time trying to close themselves off and look perfect.

Conclusion To Building A Personal Connection To Characters

As you can see, building a personal connection with your character can require a lot of bravery and honesty with ourselves. It is the part of acting that requires you to offer something vulnerable of yourself.

However, do you know what? It’s also the most valuable part of acting. The part that makes it magic.

This is the part that will make audiences fall in love with your character and see them as real, complex people. All because you dared to share part of yourself with them.

When undertaking this kind of work it’s really important to take good care of ourselves. Check out my post on Self Care for Actors to learn how to do this and keep yourself safe.

Thank you for reading, break a leg, and go and make some magic!